Saturday night

*names have been changed.

Hmm…what can I say about Saturday night out with my first ‘friend from the internet’? Firstly, it’s always difficult to gain a realistic impression of a person online. Secondly, I set my expectations low knowing that:

A. The guy did not have many interests in common with mine.
B. His English (Eastern European) was not great which meant conversations would be limited and slow.
C. He suggested we meet up in Piccadilly Circus, which initially I thought was a good idea as it’s a busy area. My gut instincts also told me that we would end up in some tourist dive that would have me brainstorming excuses to leave.
D. He was super keen on meeting and I, was still tired from having a great Friday night out as I'd already mentioned, with a friend (and his friends) I met back in September last year.

The evening could have been a disaster because he fulfilled A and B of my expectations within moments of meeting. He was friendly –probably nervous, as he seemed to be laughing after every sentence said. We looked at the map on his phone to find the place he’d suggested where a bunch of strangers from a London ‘meetup group’ were also attempting to make ‘friends’. When we eventually arrived, we found a group of people of varying shapes, sizes and ethnicities in an OTT bar exuberantly embellished with crystal chandeliers and other sparkly things –appropriately (and cringeworthyly) named ‘Jewel bar’. I wanted to run back out onto the busy street –particularly after receiving a text from my friend from the night before informing me that they were having drinks at the same place again if I wanted to join. Yes, I wanted to join. I looked around –defeated by the sight of a stranger extending his hand to introduce himself to me and decided to pick up my poor attitude, remind myself of my recent struggles to meet people and give the night a go. My internet friend (let’s call him EE) and I sat down after purchasing drinks and proceeded to make some unsuccessful conversation. At which point I suggested we talk to other people in the group.

My relief came when I met *James and *Amy whom, by the end of the night (my night anyway) had given me their contacts and made arrangements to meet up again. I’d somehow managed to loose and avoid EE (who had been following me like a lost puppy to the point where everyone thought we were together) –I felt terrible but also increasingly uncomfortable at the thought that he may have expected something more than just a friendship on our first meeting. I suspected this because he tried to grab hold of my hand partway through the night, which I found to be completely inappropriate (perhaps a cultural misunderstanding?) and made my decision to call it a night.

While saying my goodbyes to the others, EE had spotted me, as though from a mile away, grabbing my coat when I watched him from the corner of my eye, nudging people aside mid-sentence to make an urgent beeline towards me and proceeded to beg me to stay.

‘It’s only 11. Why? Why you leave? You sleep tomorrow okay? You promised me you stay (I did no such thing!). You go to the station? I go too! You stay with me half hour and I come with you. Please? Thirty minutes. Pleeeasse?’

After countless ‘Nos’, my frustrations grew at his clinginess and the fact that it did not seem to occur to him that we had only met briefly that night and I was NOT immediately ready to be his best friend, weekend bar crawl side-kick, girlfriend or whatever other deluded arrangement he had made up in his head about us. It was all a bit weird. I left, disappointed that my first potential friend-from-the-net had been a let down (an oddball) but thankful to at least have met some genuine people whom I hoped to keep in touch with.

The next morning, I received a text from EE. ‘How are you feeling? What are you doing today?’. I panicked; barely half awake and choosing to ignore it after texting James (from the meetup) who had advised that I tell him I was busy and hopefully he’ll 'get the message’. Later, I received another text from EE in the evening asking if I wanted to meet him for a drink in Camden. I replied saying I was busy. Then, I find an email from him yesterday asking what I’m doing next weekend. Have I led him to believe that I’m interested in continuing contact? Well, I did say to him we’ll meet up again later amidst fleeing from the bar. Afterall, how do you tell someone you’d just met that you don’t want to be friends with them? Come on, don't look at me like that! We can't expect to all click with every person we meet. Making friends in a pool of strangers is a gamble.

Unfortunately this first experience has kinda put me off meeting other people I’d made contact with online.

:-/